Life Advice
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Parent's Phobia Means Couple Can't Host
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boyfriend and I share an apartment, and also share two pet snakes. These are not large reptiles, and are kept in very secure glass tanks behind closed doors.
We understand that many people are not comfortable with reptiles, so we never let them roam around the apartment. If we have company, we never bring our pets out or ...Read more
Losing My Son to a Toxic Love
Dear Annie: I need some advice. My son got married three years ago to a woman we didn't know about. He never brought her over to introduce her to us. Didn't even tell us he got married. He stopped speaking to us.
Then, when my husband died, my son asked if I got any insurance money. That took me back. I don't see him anymore unless he needs ...Read more
Boyfriend's Daughter Complicates Long-Term Relationship
DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing my partner, "Gil," for five years. After my husband passed, Gil came into my life again. We had been colleagues about 10 years prior. We always had a spark but never acted on it, as I was deeply committed to my late husband.
After the funeral, Gil came into my life with guns blazing. We struck up a friendship, and ...Read more
Single File: Think in Many Tenses
It's a complicated challenge, this single life. On your own, shunning both dependency and isolation, you adjust after a while and learn to be in the present moment. Sleepless nights have taught you that you should not voyage into the future (what could be) too often or dwell in the past (what might have been). The fancy footwork needed to ...Read more

Ask Anna: I feel like I'm competing with my boyfriend's hobby for attention
Dear Anna,
I’ve been with my partner for two years in a rocky but loving relationship. Our main issue is his all-consuming passion for photography. He's on his camera club's volunteer committee, attends meetings every Monday, shoots Wednesday and Thursday evenings plus some Fridays, and spends Saturday and Sunday mornings on photo walks. He ...Read more

Ask Dating Coach Erika: When should you ask about their financial situation?
A question I occasionally get (though, not too often since I mainly work with people in the very early stages of meeting and new relationships) is this: “When should I ask the person I’m dating about their finances?”
This has been especially relevant lately in light of the movie "Materialists" out right now about a matchmaker is ...Read more

Asking Eric: Relatives leave gifts but don't come inside to visit
Dear Eric: My sister and brother-in-law live a couple of hours away. My wife and I get along with them but are not close, and we try to make an effort to see them when we are nearby (a couple times a year). We have a pre-school-age child, while they do not have kids. They are kind and generous to our child when they see him and bring him gifts ...Read more
Sister Won't Stop Comparing Kids
DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I have always been close, but lately our relationship has been feeling strained, and I think it has a lot to do with how she constantly compares our kids. Every time we're together, she makes comments about how much more advanced her daughter is or how her son is better behaved. She'll say things like, "Well, mine ...Read more
Still-Unpacking Family Ambushed By Housewarming Party
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My parents decided to throw us a housewarming party -- the day after we moved our family of five into a new home. They invited some people around town who'd known me as a kid. They also invited my friends, and then asked them to invite more people. And they brought their own snacks.
We had been cleaning the apartment we had ...Read more
Too Much Pressure on the Field
Dear Annie: My husband has been coaching our 8-year-old son's soccer team this season. At first, I thought it would be a great bonding experience for them. Our son is an active, sweet kid who used to spend hours in the yard practicing his kicks and counting down the days until the next game. But now, that excitement is gone -- and I think I ...Read more
Husband's New Friendship Puts Marriage On The Rocks
DEAR ABBY: I am 57 and have been married for 32 years to my husband, who retired from his full-time job last year. I still work full time. Since his retirement, he has been going to a bar once a week or so, spending a few hours visiting with the customers and staff.
One of the staff has taken an interest in being his "buddy." My husband is ...Read more

Asking Eric: New friend's cooking turns the stomach
Dear Eric: A relatively new friend has invited me to a third dinner at her home, and I do not want to attend. Her first two meals were simply not well-prepared and not good.
One meal included fish that had an unappetizing odor as she fried it and also had an unpleasant "off" taste when I tried to eat it. She also served barely warm, bland ...Read more
Boyfriend Walks Outside Shirtless
DEAR HARRIETTE: There's this guy I've been seeing, and now that we're official, I've been spending a lot more time at his house. I recently learned about a strange habit of his that I don't appreciate. He works in sanitation and often has early morning shifts. When he leaves for work, he walks outside shirtless. The first time this happened, I ...Read more
'ladies First' Doesn't Apply Everywhere
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a gentleman who strives to live a mannerly life. In that regard, when riding public transportation, I offer my seat to ladies who are standing. I also wait for ladies to leave an elevator before me.
Now that I am well beyond retirement age, does that change any expectations and norms? When, if ever, do I keep my seat and...Read more
More Than Just Mom
Dear Annie: I am a 60-year-old divorced mom with three grown children in their 30s. I have spent most of my adult life putting my family first, especially after my marriage ended more than a decade ago. I raised my kids mostly on my own, worked full time and never really dated seriously again. Part of that was fear, and part of it was being ...Read more
Sibling Is Making Elderly Mom's Life A Living Hell
DEAR ABBY: I live five hours away from my hometown. My mom is 98 and in assisted living there. In recent years, my younger sister has become cruel to our mom and is trying to take advantage of her.
Instead of helping Mom, she does things to deliberately upset her and raise her blood pressure. Two examples: putting dog poop on my recently ...Read more

Asking Eric: Adult children object to parents' burial plans.
Dear Eric: I am very much enjoying the second time around following a long and less than joyful first marriage.
My problem is plans for burial.
All of our children are terribly against our marriage even though both of our spouses were deceased at the time we met.
Our children have virtually no relationship with us now and if there is any ...Read more
Study-Abroad Student Wants A Summer Fling
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college student. I am abroad for the summer, and I've made up my mind that I'd like to have a fling while in Europe. I haven't quite mapped out whether I'd rather it be a one-time thing or something ongoing while I'm here, but I do know I'd like to make the most of my experience away. The issue is that I am technically in ...Read more
Please Don't Ask Waitress 'where She's From'
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in a place where many cultures and nationalities abound. When I was at a restaurant with friends the other day, we were served by a comely waitress.
My friend commented on the beauty of the "Asian waitress," but I thought she was Latina.
Is there a tactful and proper way to ask? Or are we better off not asking such a ...Read more
Ghosted at the Dinner Table
Dear Annie: I recently hosted a small dinner party at my home for a few close friends -- just six of us, gathered around the table for what I hoped would be a relaxing evening of good food and conversation. I spent the day preparing a nice meal, setting the table with care and making sure everything felt warm and welcoming. But one guest, my ...Read more
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