ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: I found out that my fiance recently went to his ex-girlfriend's birthday party, and he didn't tell me. My fiance and I have been dating for three years and have been engaged for six months, but I can tell it's been hard for him to fully let go of his ex because they dated for eight years. Part of me wants to understand where he's...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother is moving to rural Vietnam for a year to teach English, and I don't think this is a good idea. My brother can't stick to any commitment to save his life, and this experience doesn't seem like it is likely to go any differently. He gets excited about new opportunities all the time, but once the excitement wears off, he ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my childhood friends and his wife moved to my city about a year ago. While I've known him forever, I've grown much closer to his wife since they relocated. I genuinely enjoy her company, and I know the transition has been harder for her since she doesn't have many friends here yet. That said, I'm starting to feel a little ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm looking to level up in my career, and I want to pursue a master's degree. I'm someone who does not want to accumulate too much debt, based on milestones that I see in my future. I have no issue with higher education, and I don't have much anxiety around the program itself; I am just more concerned about making sure I have ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm someone who keeps a very busy schedule. I thought I enjoyed being busy because that's what made my mind feel at ease. However, therapy and self-discovery have led me to realize I feel like I must stay busy because my mind does not feel comfortable being relaxed. Having a packed schedule is sustainable as a teenager, but the ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My great-aunt is in heart failure and was told she has less than a year to live. Growing up, we had an amazing relationship and she introduced me, as a little gay boy, to makeup and cosmetics; she would paint my nails and let me play with her makeup. I wrote my college entrance essay on her and how she helped me fall in love with...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are making the difficult decision to pull my daughter from private school and put her in public school. Our family simply can't afford it anymore because they keep hiking the price for tuition. My daughter is crushed about it because she's been going to this school for five years and all of her friends are here. ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently applied for and interviewed for an internship in the city. I felt like the interview went well, and I was told I met the requirements and qualifications for the role. The company ended up going in a different direction, and I am at a loss. I normally get everything I want and apply for, and I have never faced rejection...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: As I've grown up, I've always tried to do my best whenever I can. I try not to limit myself with mediocrity and always push myself. This has been a main driver of my successful moments; however, it definitely impacts the way I treat myself in private. Although people see me as a high achiever, I find myself constantly critiquing ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter just told me she's spent thousands of dollars on a matchmaker to help her with her love life. I can't seem to understand why she would do such a thing. My daughter is beautiful, smart and accomplished. I imagine she should be able to find love for free. When she told me about this, I could barely conceal my shock. I ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always liked to experiment with sewing my own garments. In my culture, it is common for people to make their own clothes or at least be able to repair what they buy. As time goes on, skills like sewing have become more uncommon, especially here in the United States. However, developing these skills at such a young age ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I consider myself to be very pro-Black and pro-Black advancement. One of the ways I try to show my investment in my community is by buying and shopping Black. I specifically enjoy going to Black-owned establishments like bars and restaurants. I have a friend who sees this as an inconvenience and does not understand the importance...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I try to integrate my younger sister into my life as often as I can. Though we have a large age gap, she's graduated from college now, so it feels more appropriate to let her come out with me from time to time. She's known a lot of my close friends for a long time. That said, I may have given her the wrong impression by allowing ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: It's the 250th anniversary of our country, and I am so torn. In my lifetime, I have not felt more disconnected from my patriotism. I love my country -- don't get me wrong -- but I feel like we are terribly divided. The rift between the haves and have-nots is growing, and there seems to be a growing trend to annihilate people of ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was offered a job, but I am on the fence about taking it; I want to know if my reasoning is stupid. I'm 19, and I don't necessarily need a job, but I would like one to pay off my credit cards faster. I got permission to miss a week at the end of June due to my best friend coming to visit me in New York right before my birthday....Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband forgot our 20-year wedding anniversary, and I've been sobbing about it for a whole week. I planned a surprise romantic dinner for us, and I got him a really nice watch that he has been eyeing for a while. He, however, had nothing planned for me and no gift awaiting me. I've been with him for 20 years, and he can't even...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating my boyfriend for six months. Most of the time, he is a really great guy. He takes me out on thoughtful dates and is a great communicator. However, sometimes when I ask him to do a small favor for me such as opening a pickle jar that's too hard for me to get or get me a glass of water, he will blow up at me. He ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am new to dating and honestly feel at a loss. I'm a male college student who has never had a real relationship. I feel like I let things slide in the pursuit of forming a relationship, and I end up getting hurt.

I'm currently seeing this boy who I am head over heels for, but he says one thing and does another. The last time we...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I announced to my team at work that I am pregnant, and my manager's response was not what I was expecting. She said congratulations, but she looked devastated, and I saw tears starting to fill her eyes. Then she ran out of the room, leaving us all confused. Later, we found out that she has been trying to get pregnant for seven ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are in a standoff right now regarding children. We already have three kids, but he wants one more. I told him that I don't have the physical or mental capacity to take care of another child. My body has already gone through so much from my first three births; I can't imagine having another child, especially now ...Read more