Mom Upset Daughter Is Getting Bullied
DEAR HARRIETTE: My 14-year-old daughter recently came home from school sobbing because she said that a lot of the boys were calling her ugly. As her mother, I feel horrible and partially responsible since she takes after me. She looks so much like me when I was her age, and I hate to admit it, but itÕs not a great thing. Seeing her so upset broke my heart. She locked herself in her room for hours and refused to eat dinner that night. What makes this situation even harder for me is that it brings back painful memories from my own teenage years. I struggled with low self-esteem growing up and was often teased for how I looked. I worked hard as an adult to move past that and build confidence in other areas of my life, but hearing my daughter repeat the same hurtful things about herself that I used to think about myself has been incredibly difficult.
I want to help my daughter build confidence and remind her that her worth is not defined by the opinions of a few cruel classmates. IÕve considered speaking with the school about the bullying, but she begged me not to because she says it will make things worse socially. I feel stuck between wanting to protect her and not wanting to embarrass her further. How can I help my daughter? -- Mirror, Mirror
DEAR MIRROR, MIRROR: Open up to your daughter about your struggles. Tell her that she inherited your face, and share what you experienced at her age as well as how you climbed out of it. Honesty and support are what she needs right now.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've lived on my block my entire life. My parents grew up on this block as well. We have a strong community that raised me and continues to thrive. Recently, one of my neighbors told me that he likes me as more than a friend. I was extremely shocked, considering he did not come off as gay to me at all. He is not out yet, but he wants us to start talking and getting to know each other romantically. Although I like him and his family, I do not think this is a good idea. His mother is friends with mine. Our block is nosy to begin with, and I did not come out years ago just to be put back in the shadows by a partner. I am usually good at turning down unwanted advances, but I don't want to hurt his feelings and make this whole situation awkward -- even though it already is. Should I pursue something with him because I know his background, or is this too close to home? -- Love on the Block
DEAR LOVE ON THE BLOCK: Offer to be his friend and mentor. Tell him that you can share insights about coming out and living as a gay person, but you are unwilling to get involved with him while he is figuring out his life. As his friend, the best thing you can do is support him.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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