Success Clouds Sibling Relationship
DEAR HARRIETTE: Over the past few years, I've been fortunate enough to do well in my career and build some financial stability for myself. I'm proud of how far I've come, especially because my sibling and I grew up without much, and I know how hard it is to break out of that cycle. The problem is, my sibling seems to resent me for it. Lately, almost every conversation between us turns into an argument, and there's an underlying tension that wasn't there before. They make little comments about my "luck" or imply that I think I'm better than everyone else now, which couldn't be further from the truth. I've even offered to help them out financially when I can, but that just seems to make things worse. It feels like no matter what I say or do, the jealousy just keeps growing, and it's starting to really damage our relationship.
I miss how close we used to be, but I also feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells. I don't want my success to come at the cost of losing my family, but I also can't apologize for the life I've worked so hard to build. Is there a way to repair our bond when jealousy seems to be standing in the way? -- The Divide
DEAR THE DIVIDE: Write your sibling a heartfelt letter expressing how much you love and miss them and that you want to be close again. Ask that they let go of whatever is standing in the way of your connection. Say that no matter what, you will always love them.
From then on, it's on them. You cannot control anyone. Stop begging and live your life.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm feeling embarrassed after something that happened with a close friend. We were out together at a restaurant. When we were getting up to leave, I slipped and fell in front of everyone. It was one of those moments where the whole room got quiet and everyone stared. Instead of helping me up or checking if I was OK, my friend immediately walked toward the door and pretended she didn't know me. I had to pick myself up off the floor alone while strangers looked at me with pity and my own friend abandoned me. I felt completely humiliated.
When I brought it up later, my friend laughed it off and said she didn't know how to react. She never apologized or showed any real concern. I'm struggling with how to move forward because I always thought real friends were supposed to show up for each other, especially in embarrassing or vulnerable moments. Should I confront her more seriously about how much this hurt me, or is this a sign that our friendship isn't as strong as I thought? -- True Friendship
DEAR TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Tell her you need to revisit what happened that day. Ask why she would not help you in an obvious moment of distress. Tell her it hurt your feelings that she did not have your back. Press her for why she would walk away.
I wondered if you had been drinking. If you were inebriated, she still should have helped you, but that might be a sign for you to curb your drinking. If you have had any such mishap before due to that, it could be a trigger for her. If not, you may want to check to see if anything else is askew in your body to cause you to fall.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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