Life Advice
/Health
Wedding Guest List Doesn't Include Late Grandfather's Widow
DEAR ABBY: My son and his fiancee are getting married in a few months. They are planning a small reception with only their closest friends and family. Unfortunately, this excludes my late father's second wife, "Bonnie," who has been in our lives for nearly 40 years. My son has no particular problem with Bonnie, but she has struggled with mental ...Read more
Bad Bed Makes Visiting Parents' Vacation Home Uncomfortable
DEAR ABBY: My father and stepmother have a vacation home in another state, and they invite us to visit every year. The problem is, the sofa bed in the guest room is so uncomfortable that it's impossible to sleep. However, they think that the bed is great because other guests have told them that. I find it hard to believe that the other guests ...Read more
Musical Friendship Has Fallen A Bit Out Of Tune
DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, "Chris," from our teenage days. We've been performing music together for decades. We live in different cities but get together every few years. Over the last 20 years, Chris has turned toward a fundamentalist viewpoint on religion. I found it too much to handle and have distanced myself.
Recently, Chris contacted me ...Read more
Couple's Sex Life Has Changed After Medical Procedure
DEAR ABBY: My wife is the love of my life. She is, and always has been, my dream girl. We used to have sex three or four times a week, but since her hysterectomy, she no longer desires sex. She's OK with scheduling sex on a certain date, but most of the time she doesn't follow through because she doesn't think about it, and I feel unwanted and ...Read more
Parents Punish Teen Because Of Her Sexual Orientation
DEAR ABBY: I am freshman in high school, and I live with my stepmother and father. They are great parents to me and my little brother but very homophobic. I love going to church with them, but I have a partner of the same gender. My parents recently found out and have decided as punishment to isolate me from everyone, including putting me in ...Read more
Roommate's Spending Habits Make It Hard To Move Out
DEAR ABBY: Nine months ago, my friend "Anne" moved in with me after losing her home following her boyfriend's death. Since then, she's had trouble finding employment, but when she does work, she spends money on stuff she really doesn't need. She's always talking about how she hates to be a burden on me and will move out ASAP. Then she buys ...Read more
Widowed Mother Develops New Interest In Daughter's Finances
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are in our 50s. For several months, I have been struggling with an issue I have with my mom. She constantly asks me how much my annual income is and how much my husband makes. In the 20-plus years we have been married, we have never asked to borrow money from my parents (or anyone, for that matter). We have always ...Read more
Neighbor's 'Pet Project' Is Now More Than A Nuisance
DEAR ABBY: Recently, my neighbor, who has always been eccentric, has embarked on an unusual gardening project. Instead of traditional plants, he's turned his backyard into a sprawling sanctuary for rescued wild animals. At first, it seemed harmless, but the situation has escalated. His yard now attracts wildlife, including raccoons, skunks and ...Read more
Neighbor Is Suddenly A Fixture In Couple's Lives
DEAR ABBY: I have a female friend, "Kylene," who needs yard work done weekly. My fiance, "Josh," goes over there to do the work for her. He charges $60. During the last two weeks, she has been popping up at our home uninvited. Kylene knows Josh's work schedule and makes sure she sees him daily at the neighborhood bar around 4 in the afternoon. ...Read more
Mother-Daughter Rift Puts Dad In A Tough Spot
DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Violet," lives about two hours away. She and her mother (my wife) do not get along. Violet was always a rebellious, independent wild child, as well as the source of a lot of family problems. Violet and I also were estranged until we recently reconciled.
Yesterday, she sent me an email inviting me to lunch to celebrate ...Read more
Wife's View Of Herself Shrinks After Discovery
DEAR ABBY: About eight months ago, I stumbled on my husband watching online porn. He admitted to habitual use but said it was just a stress reliever and he would stop viewing it. Meanwhile, I am plagued by feelings of not being enough for him, mainly before or during sex but also at random times of the day and night.
I am a small-breasted woman...Read more
Intense, Unrequited Feelings Make It Hard To Move Forward
DEAR ABBY: I'm struggling with something that feels both silly and painful. I've developed intense feelings (maybe even "limerence") for a man I know, and no matter how hard I try, no one else seems to compare. I have tried dating apps, looking at younger guys, older guys, conventionally attractive guys. Nothing clicks. I keep thinking, why can'...Read more
Parents Should Take A Back Seat At Couples' Nuptials
DEAR ABBY: I felt compelled to write to you after reading the "plight" of the parents of the bride of "Ruined Wedding in New York" (April 23). As someone who's worked in the hospitality field for more than 30 years, I have seen my share of bridezillas and in-laws who behave badly because they blindly believe that all of THEIR wishes and demands ...Read more
Nephew Jumps From The Frying Pan Right Into The Fire
DEAR ABBY: After their 25th anniversary dinner, my nephew "Will" was blindsided when his wife announced that she had never loved him and has been in love with her stepbrother since her teens. Will had supported her completely and gladly. (She wanted to be a stay-at-home mother; he makes good money.) This hurt him terribly.
Will has met another ...Read more
Messages Are Mostly Misfiring For Married Couple
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been amicably married for 16 years. We enjoy each other's company and are home together a lot. However, over the last year or so, I have had an increasingly hard time hearing what he's saying. He sits in his chair and mumbles to the point where I can't tell if he's talking to me or to himself. He also tries to ...Read more
Partner's Unhealthy Lifestyle Needs An Adjustment
DEAR ABBY: I'm in a long-term relationship with an incredible guy I'll call "Jerry." We both have grown children, his parents and family are amazing, and we all get along wonderfully.
Jerry works hard as a health-care professional. I work as well, but he supports us financially, for which I am grateful. He has an autoimmune disorder and, ...Read more
Grieving Family Doesn't Need A New Challenge
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I had two sons, "Seth" and "Jason," who were best buddies. Seth passed away a year and a half ago, which has been really hard on us all, but especially on Jason. He's now 17 and in high school. He's doing OK, but he is still sort of listless and keeps to himself a lot.
My sister's son, "Matt," was the same age as Seth....Read more
Wife Is Going It Alone Dealing With An Alcoholic
DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law is her alcoholic husband's enabler. He has health conditions that make walking difficult. He falls down often and can't make it to the bathroom. Being drunk all the time (he consumes a fifth of vodka every two days) also prevents him from getting the surgery he needs.
My SIL buys his liquor for him. She says if she ...Read more
Daughter's Dependence Finally Reaches Breaking Point
DEAR ABBY: I am 65, single and retired with an almost-40-year-old bipolar child. Although she's compliant with her meds, she also self-medicates and sometimes must be hospitalized due to her mania. She doesn't work and refuses to apply for any aid. I have stopped paying for her needs other than food, shelter and helping financially with her dog....Read more
Surviving Family Member Comes To Bitter Realization
DEAR ABBY: I recently spent weeks caring for my mom in hospice. I was holding her hand when she took her last breath. I had announced to family and friends her choice to enter hospice. They knew her death was imminent. Being the last surviving child, it was up to me to arrange her funeral. Everyone, including my friends, asked me to keep them ...Read more