If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
If you have a boring ...Read More

- Your wedding invitations say "Same time, same place."

- You park in handicapped spaces based on your SAT score.

- You list dogs as dependants on your tax forms.

- Your taxidermist also does your taxes.

- You love ...Read More

Little Lucy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Lucy?"

"My goldfish died," ...Read More

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.