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The Goldfish

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Little Lucy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Lucy?"

"My goldfish died," replied Lucy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

 

The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Lucy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your darn cat!"


 

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Capital Knowledge

Jokes /

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

Weddings and Funerals

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Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Discussion

Jokes /

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Mother's Wedding Dress

Jokes /

A couple was getting married, and it was only three days before the wedding. The bride calls her mother with some bad news. "Mom," she says, "I just found out that my fiance's mother has bought the exact same dress as you ...Read More

Tidbits

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I have the most marvelous recipe for meat loaf! All I have to do is mention it to my husband and he says, "Let's eat out!"

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"Most of the men in this town think monogamy is some kind of wood." --Amy Yasbeck as ...Read More

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