Q: What do cows do for entertainment?
A: Go to moo-vies.

Q: Which job is a cow most suited for?
A: Baker. Because they're making cow pies regularly.

Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.

Q: What band is a cow favorite?
A: Moo-dy Blues

- Anywhere you hang your @ is home.

- The e-mail of the species is deadlier than the mail.

- A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.

- You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.

- Great groups from little icons grow.

- Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.

- C:\ is the root of all directories.

- Don't put all your hypes ...Read more

DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally came in an 8-oz can but now comes in a 16-oz can. However, the can is divided in 8 compartments of 2-oz each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are ...Read more

One evening a small boy comes home confused and concerned. His father enquires as to his problem, where upon the boy looks up to his father, and very matter-of-factly asks "What's politics, Dad?"

"Well you see it is like this son; your mother, she is like the government, she controls everything. You have to do what you are told and have ...Read more

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."

So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After ...Read more

Every Monday morning for years, at about 11:30 am, the telephone operator in a small Sierra-Nevada town received a call from a man asking the exact time.

One day the operator summed-up the nerve to ask him why the regularity. "I'm foreman of the local sawmill," he explained. "Every day, I have to blow the whistle at noon, so I call you to get ...Read more

Billy had reached school age. His mother managed with a blast of propaganda to make him enthusiastic about the idea.

She bought him lots of new clothes, told him of the new friends he'd meet, and so on.

When the first day came, Billy eagerly went off and came back home with a lot of glowing reports about school.

The next morning when ...Read more

A Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?"

"No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."

A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient.

"I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said.

"Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.

"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."

"Addidas is coming out with a new $250 smart running shoe. This shoe is so smart it makes you spend $250 on it!" --Jay Leno

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"Today I was walking through Central Park and I saw a tourist get carried off by a cicada." --David Letterman

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My 5-year-old nephew, Felix, wanted to caddy for my brother's golf game. "You have to count my ...Read more