ArcaMax

Joe's chemistry teacher wanted to teach his ninth grade class a lesson on the evils of liquor so he produced a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Observe" he told his class as he began to put one of the worms in the glass of water. This worm swam about freely and looked as happy as can be.

He then put the second worm in ...Read more

Delightful poo-poo memes are going around. In one of my faves, people list stuff that doesn't have cyclospora. It's not salads. It's Snickers, mac and cheese, and cookies.

Hilarious, I thought after a scroll. Solid creative energy from the internet hive mind, a silly way to lighten up news of a perilous parasite. But after closing the phone, ...Read more

If I'd had any choice in the matter, I certainly wouldn't have planned to have my two kids' and husband's birthdays be only weeks apart. The first two just kind of worked out that way. The third was completely out of my control.

The problem with all these occasions has nothing to do with gifts or parties.

It's about the cake. Or, more ...Read more

Attention, disgusting little guys:

I write by the light of a candle in hopes you won't locate me. I have been reduced to a hostage in my own home, a scavenging rat-style person dragging a pizza crust from the fridge to eat under cloak and dagger.

Why have you come? What do you seek?

Since individual intervention (murder) has been slow to ...Read more

"We got an invitation to something," I said to my husband as I opened the elegant beige envelope with our names handwritten in calligraphy.

"What is it?" he wondered aloud.

I scanned the invitation. "It's a dinner party for John and Cheryl's anniversary," I said. I read over the rest of the invite and groaned.

"What?"

"The dress is 'fancy ...Read more

It's the thick of summer. This means I've been, let's say, gently prodded into participating in outdoorsy vacation adventures that test my mettle and push the limits of my even nature.

This year, we headed to the opposite corner of the country, Washington state, to visit family. We took an incredible whale-watching cruise, went up the Space ...Read more

"Don't move," I said softly to my mom as we sat having lunch at an outdoor cafe.

"What is it?" she asked in a somewhat alarmed tone.

"There is a spider hanging from your hat," I replied. "But I'll get it." Even though I am deathly afraid of spiders, I felt it was my duty, as my mother's only daughter, to risk life and limb and remove the ...Read more

Date: July 4, 2276

Location: Independence National Historical Park, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Event: Opening of the America 250 time capsule

Thank you for coming to the 500th birthday celebration for the Territory of Bezos Sponsored by Diet Coke, formerly known as the United States of America.

Reminder: Please double-blink your eye ...Read more

As spring moves into summer, one of the things I can be confident of is that my chances of getting exposed to poison ivy go up significantly. For some reason, this seems to be a challenge for me every summer. It has happened every year like clockwork for the 30 years we have been living in the 'burbs, so one would naturally think after such a ...Read more

Do you know how rainbows are made? Sure, most of us remember third-grade science, prisms dancing from a backyard hose. Light plus water equals color.

But let's go deeper on the mysterious rainbow, a phenomenon that has long dazzled the world's greatest minds. From Norse mythmakers to Aristotle, from Descartes to Newton, thinkers have wrestled...Read more

"Honey, do we have any sunscreen?" my husband asked.

"Yes," I responded. "I bought, like, a case of it years ago."

"You know that stuff expires, right?"

I actually didn't. I thought sunscreen lasted forever, like Twinkies and Dick Van Dyke. So when I checked out the expiration dates on the sunscreens, I was dismayed to discover that they ...Read more

Comedian John Oliver blessed the airwaves with a meaty Florida takedown, spending nearly half an hour Sunday dragging the state's hostile takeover of New College of Florida.

On HBO's "Last Week Tonight," Oliver touched on college President Richard Corcoran's bloated salary, a curious dumpster full of books and other farcical facets of the ...Read more

When I was a kid, we had a Siberian husky named Sasha. My dad decided on a Siberian husky because he wanted a dog that had blue eyes like he did.

Not that he's shallow or anything.

Sasha was a chewer. He wasn't just a dog toy chewer or bone chewer. Sasha was an indiscriminate chewer and was so good at chewing that he could have competed ...Read more

Hi.

Hi! Did you find everything you were looking for in STORE?

Yep, thanks.

Just this shirt for you, then?

Mmhmm.

Soooo cute, girl. What's your email address?

Why?

Are you on file with us here at STORE?

Oh, no thanks. I'll just take the top.

No problem at all, babe. It's just that, if you don't ...Read more